day 6/7
Went swimming and did 1 mile! 50 lengths. Weighed in at 92 kg which means I have lost 1kg in only a few days. Snacked on large amounts of fruit, and did 10 press ups, squats and sit ups. So feelin' alright! It was difficult but I didn't feel as tired like on wednesday. The other thing I have noticed is the colour in my face, its more healthy and reddish, rather than white with dark eyes. Amazing.
I worked out why i couldn't get up in the mornings - My house mate and me decided that it was summer and we didn't need the heating on in the mornings, and we would turn off that wasteful boiler. Couldn't hardly open my eyes. anyhoo thats fixed.
In sort of celebration of losing 1kg I went out and drank loads of free booze, which I needed to do, wine and sprits mainly, rather than the fizzy stuff. Which was a shame in diet terms, but i really felt like it, normality slips back in.
Woke up with a rather large hangover and the shakes, so decided that I would eat a huge 'sub' type sandwich, it was wonderful, pure joy.
Snacked on more fruit, including some larger-than-they-should-be strawberries.
Might go for a cycle tomorrow, as my pects still hurt from Thursdays swimming.
Friday 16 March 2007
Wednesday 14 March 2007
Why doesn't human poo make good compost?
Why doesn't human poo make good compost? Is it too acidic? Not fluffy enough, like er, horse shit? or is it that we are too good at taking out the good stuff? Or is it because we eat meat and dairy products? And if so is monkey poo bad for the earth?(are monkeys veggie?) would vegan poo make better compost?
Honey nut cornflakes, almost 50% sugar. "Cornflakes with your sugar sir?"
I am looking forward to tomorrow, swimming in the morning, 50 lengths is a mile, I did 40 last time, maybe just maybe I can do it. Doing a mile is far cooler than 40 lengths. Breaststroke only, don't think I can manage front crawl yet. Might even try a few of the recommended 'press ups, sit ups, squats etc', but could hardly get out of bed this morning, I don't know if its to do with the weather or the diet, but its been really difficult to get up recently, and generally feel more tired during the day. Gonna get shed loads of fruit tomorrow.
Low fat, what a fix. Went to Weatherspoons, (actual this time) because I was in another city not because I need to go to the pub everyday. Five bean chill, only 5% fat! and then it comes with salty tortilla chips (which I didn't eat) I am sure these can't be low fat. Tad misleading, perhaps?.
Hopefully going to do badminton on the weekend, easy exercise!
Breakfast - cornflakes
lunch - reduced fat cottage cheese, riveta crisp things, salad, (no dressing), fruit juice.
Dinner - five bean chilli
snacks - coffee (i was driving) and orange and two bananas
Honey nut cornflakes, almost 50% sugar. "Cornflakes with your sugar sir?"
I am looking forward to tomorrow, swimming in the morning, 50 lengths is a mile, I did 40 last time, maybe just maybe I can do it. Doing a mile is far cooler than 40 lengths. Breaststroke only, don't think I can manage front crawl yet. Might even try a few of the recommended 'press ups, sit ups, squats etc', but could hardly get out of bed this morning, I don't know if its to do with the weather or the diet, but its been really difficult to get up recently, and generally feel more tired during the day. Gonna get shed loads of fruit tomorrow.
Low fat, what a fix. Went to Weatherspoons, (actual this time) because I was in another city not because I need to go to the pub everyday. Five bean chill, only 5% fat! and then it comes with salty tortilla chips (which I didn't eat) I am sure these can't be low fat. Tad misleading, perhaps?.
Hopefully going to do badminton on the weekend, easy exercise!
Breakfast - cornflakes
lunch - reduced fat cottage cheese, riveta crisp things, salad, (no dressing), fruit juice.
Dinner - five bean chilli
snacks - coffee (i was driving) and orange and two bananas
Tuesday 13 March 2007
Real Men Don't eat Quiche
day 4
Breakfast - Cardboard flakes and cornflakes (mixin' it up because I am running out of the cardboard)
Lunch - Wrap with two eggs - is this bad?
Dinner - Lean german sausage and olive oil mash (tastes better than it sounds)
In the pub again today, I must really love it there, had a full fat coke, ordered incorrectly, i wanted a DIET COKE, but felt all shy because I asked someone else to get it. "hey do you want a drink?" "Yes, I will have half a diet coke", "hee, hee, hee" as my mate walked to the bar. There is something inherently funny about a young male ordering a half of diet coke. I mean my friends not a nasty person. Just even the thought of me having a HALF with Diet in it brought a titter/snigger. bastard (lower case because I don't really mean it).
I have a stag weekend coming up soon and I think the diet may have to, for the sake of my masculinity, take a break. "Beers all round lads? and TWO for the STAAAAAAAAG!" "(make mine a vodka and diet coke)" "WHAAAT!" and so on and so on you get idea. They're just incompatible, diets/stag weekends. But the question is, how does one take a break, do i starve myself before the weekend? Do i run up and down the stairs instead of taking the lift, using the unlikely childs game of "beeeetttcha!" as a reasoning to get all sweaty on a night out ? This will be a calorhoriffic holiday. Beer, beer, beer, pizza, beer, fry up, pizza, beer. Wama'gonnadoooo? Its likely to put me back a week or two on the old weight loss programmme. If i was perhaps going on the holiday with my mates it might be ok, i could get away with, you know, drinking less but, on a Stag do its all about over eating, farting and beer, beer, beer till your sick and maybe then a strip joint (god no!).
When lads are about, any sign of weakness becomes a huge joke, like vultures watching over a dying man in a desert, ready to swoop in and push him head first into the sand. I have faith in my friends not to be complete tossers, but its like going along and drinking water. I really don't know what to do. I have until easter weekend to come up with a sneaky plan. Yes, if i was a real adult, I would stick to my guns, let them have their laughs, their fun, and let them get over it, but I don't want to be the centre of attention, not on a stag doo anyway.
Yesterday I was explaining my programme to some friends, I was explaining that you know, I felt less bloated. "how long have you been doing it for" , "oh three days" "Pa hahah! I can see the weight falling off!" it's kind of funny, but then also its getting to be a bit annoying. I specified that 'I probably hadn't lost any weight yet'. why should it be so odd to try and lose a bit of weight? I have a few people, say oh yeah "I'll join you" in quite a throw away sort of way, in that they're downing pints whilst discussing the merits of a balanced diet. I mean, I like being the funny guy, but I really didn't set this one up as a joke. Maybe its funny because its so odd. Maybe it's funny because the way I approach it, or who I am. Maybe I shouldn't tell everyone, maybe I should be a closet dieter! But in effect telling people I know is away of putting pressure on myself to keep with the programme. I am looking forward to Saturday, to see if the programme has made any change to my weight at all, see if all the decisions and all the humiliation and all the diet coke have been worth it.
Breakfast - Cardboard flakes and cornflakes (mixin' it up because I am running out of the cardboard)
Lunch - Wrap with two eggs - is this bad?
Dinner - Lean german sausage and olive oil mash (tastes better than it sounds)
In the pub again today, I must really love it there, had a full fat coke, ordered incorrectly, i wanted a DIET COKE, but felt all shy because I asked someone else to get it. "hey do you want a drink?" "Yes, I will have half a diet coke", "hee, hee, hee" as my mate walked to the bar. There is something inherently funny about a young male ordering a half of diet coke. I mean my friends not a nasty person. Just even the thought of me having a HALF with Diet in it brought a titter/snigger. bastard (lower case because I don't really mean it).
I have a stag weekend coming up soon and I think the diet may have to, for the sake of my masculinity, take a break. "Beers all round lads? and TWO for the STAAAAAAAAG!" "(make mine a vodka and diet coke)" "WHAAAT!" and so on and so on you get idea. They're just incompatible, diets/stag weekends. But the question is, how does one take a break, do i starve myself before the weekend? Do i run up and down the stairs instead of taking the lift, using the unlikely childs game of "beeeetttcha!" as a reasoning to get all sweaty on a night out ? This will be a calorhoriffic holiday. Beer, beer, beer, pizza, beer, fry up, pizza, beer. Wama'gonnadoooo? Its likely to put me back a week or two on the old weight loss programmme. If i was perhaps going on the holiday with my mates it might be ok, i could get away with, you know, drinking less but, on a Stag do its all about over eating, farting and beer, beer, beer till your sick and maybe then a strip joint (god no!).
When lads are about, any sign of weakness becomes a huge joke, like vultures watching over a dying man in a desert, ready to swoop in and push him head first into the sand. I have faith in my friends not to be complete tossers, but its like going along and drinking water. I really don't know what to do. I have until easter weekend to come up with a sneaky plan. Yes, if i was a real adult, I would stick to my guns, let them have their laughs, their fun, and let them get over it, but I don't want to be the centre of attention, not on a stag doo anyway.
Yesterday I was explaining my programme to some friends, I was explaining that you know, I felt less bloated. "how long have you been doing it for" , "oh three days" "Pa hahah! I can see the weight falling off!" it's kind of funny, but then also its getting to be a bit annoying. I specified that 'I probably hadn't lost any weight yet'. why should it be so odd to try and lose a bit of weight? I have a few people, say oh yeah "I'll join you" in quite a throw away sort of way, in that they're downing pints whilst discussing the merits of a balanced diet. I mean, I like being the funny guy, but I really didn't set this one up as a joke. Maybe its funny because its so odd. Maybe it's funny because the way I approach it, or who I am. Maybe I shouldn't tell everyone, maybe I should be a closet dieter! But in effect telling people I know is away of putting pressure on myself to keep with the programme. I am looking forward to Saturday, to see if the programme has made any change to my weight at all, see if all the decisions and all the humiliation and all the diet coke have been worth it.
Monday 12 March 2007
Sushi and smudgy glasses
day three
Does moving heavy stuff down three flights of stairs count as exercise? Well I did that today.
Went for lunch at a fake weatherspoons, the menu was full fat. One of the salads, had reduced fat vinaigrette (good) with 'normal' mayonnaise (bad, bad) WHY! Completely ridiculous. So I browsed across the menu, a jacket potato, that'll be good for me. Topping options, cheese, bacon and cheese, tuna mayo and cheese, beans and cheese, cheese and cheese, block of deep fried lard with cheese. AARGH! I had to go for beans (no cheese, please), bringing on the sort of pity that you had for the spotty kid at school that 'couldn't' eat any food containing the letter 'm' or anything round. When it came it was tiny, like about the size of a squashed tennis ball, i nearly shed a tear. I am used to at least new born baby sized potato, with 3 fillings all uniquely opposed in flavour, green curry, tuna mayo and cream cheese, yesp please! This was the most depressing episode of my slimming career so far. I had it with a apple juice, which was yummy, but served in a glass which was warm and had red lipstick on, by an annoying bloke eating red rope sweets, I mean, honestly, it was like yoof club in there. Although, the lady who also (part served me they we're all over the shop) served me was nice, small waist, which er, made my mind wander a little from the warm glass, I wondered if the soft red smudgy lipstick was in fact a loving gift to me from her, in the hope that in some small way our lips would be touching even if, it was never meant to be. Then she handed the bloke with the silly red rope a clean glass to give to me, my dreams and hopes shattered, the realisation that she was just doing her job and i was just another man holding a warm smudgy glass.
For dinner i had sushi, which was great! thanks, no tempura for fattie though. and er more diet coke (blergh!).
Does moving heavy stuff down three flights of stairs count as exercise? Well I did that today.
Went for lunch at a fake weatherspoons, the menu was full fat. One of the salads, had reduced fat vinaigrette (good) with 'normal' mayonnaise (bad, bad) WHY! Completely ridiculous. So I browsed across the menu, a jacket potato, that'll be good for me. Topping options, cheese, bacon and cheese, tuna mayo and cheese, beans and cheese, cheese and cheese, block of deep fried lard with cheese. AARGH! I had to go for beans (no cheese, please), bringing on the sort of pity that you had for the spotty kid at school that 'couldn't' eat any food containing the letter 'm' or anything round. When it came it was tiny, like about the size of a squashed tennis ball, i nearly shed a tear. I am used to at least new born baby sized potato, with 3 fillings all uniquely opposed in flavour, green curry, tuna mayo and cream cheese, yesp please! This was the most depressing episode of my slimming career so far. I had it with a apple juice, which was yummy, but served in a glass which was warm and had red lipstick on, by an annoying bloke eating red rope sweets, I mean, honestly, it was like yoof club in there. Although, the lady who also (part served me they we're all over the shop) served me was nice, small waist, which er, made my mind wander a little from the warm glass, I wondered if the soft red smudgy lipstick was in fact a loving gift to me from her, in the hope that in some small way our lips would be touching even if, it was never meant to be. Then she handed the bloke with the silly red rope a clean glass to give to me, my dreams and hopes shattered, the realisation that she was just doing her job and i was just another man holding a warm smudgy glass.
For dinner i had sushi, which was great! thanks, no tempura for fattie though. and er more diet coke (blergh!).
Sunday 11 March 2007
MATLOCK BATHS
day two
So, last night was the first 'drinking' night, were usually i would get completely bladdered on 7 pints or so (depending on start time) and get a pizza on the way home. I had four rum and diet cokes, and no pizza after. The taste of the rum made the fake sugar in the coke taste nicer, so it wasn't as bad as previously imagined, and I mixed the drinks i was having with a couple of pints of water throughout the night, admittedly this was more a money saving technique than anything diet related.
I figured that four rum and cokes, even if 'diet' can't be dieter's friend, so went walking in the hills of Derby. Fresh air too, great!
Breakfast - cardboard flakes with banana and skimmed milk
Lunch - 1/3 baguette with cottage cheese lettuce and choritzo slices, and asda puffed rice thai 'good for you!' thingys.
Dinner - yesterdays Pasta (I make it sound so bad, it was great!) with low fat greek yogurt on pineapple. (I make it sound great, it was bad! the Pinapple was old)
After the walk we went to Matlock Baths, a kind of seaside resort without any sea, just a river, it has all the arcade and ice-cream parlors you need for a good seaside town. Perhaps Matlock Bath was built just incase Brighton or Bournmouth get bombed by Al keida and his mates. The people still need penny arcades and Ice Cream! Or maybe is a weird quirk in environmental planning , just in case the lower half of england gets washed away, by rising sea levels; there will still be the mighty Matlock Baths - On - Sea.
Matlock Baths also has a great hairdresser called..wait for it..."I am Spartacuts!" genius, pure genius.
Matlock Baths is certainly dieters hell, pubs, fish and chip restaurants and ice cream parlors, oh yeah and the odd motorbike shop thrown in for some sort of Feng Shui balancing act. "No sir you need, three chippies for every bike shop, or otherwise positive energy will flow out of the town, and the confused customers will end up in Derby" "I can't let that happen, let there be chippies"
But I managed to avoid, the chippies, and just have a pint of diet coke in the pub. There must be more on offer in pubs which is low in bad stuff aside from water and diet coke? I can't imagine that the J20s are good for you. I got very excited when I realised that summer drinking diet style can include Gin and 'slim line tonic'. Drinks for winners!
I still feel a little odd doing this whole slimming thing, it does feel very setup for women, blokes I suppose just have heart attacks. But why the bias towards women, why the pressure on women to look slim or more importantly the lack of pressure on men to be healthy? Maybe its the choice of words, Slimming, Dieting, Getting fit, Exercising, 'going to the gym' all have slightly different connotations, but essentially meaning the same thing. Maybe there is a pressure on men to beef up rather than lose fat. something to do with gaining and losing? gambling? sorry for the psudo tenius links, just trying to work things out.
I guess part of me likes the feeling of going 'on a diet' as a young man, that slightly awkward conversations you have with people in which their first thoughts are that you are making them part of some elaborate joke. It almost feels (one assumes of course!) like some sort of cross dressing, using the language of middle aged women's magazine, lose a dress size! lose four pounds in four days! my brother killed my son with my cat!
So theoretically yes I am slimming, there's a nice outfit that i must simply have for the summer. In the pub the blog came up, and it was suggested that perhaps 'slimming' is the ultimate metro-sexual statement. But I guess that its a statement, rather than 'normal', if a middle aged woman who works in an office is slimming, its hardly a statement, more an occupational hazard. So there.
So, last night was the first 'drinking' night, were usually i would get completely bladdered on 7 pints or so (depending on start time) and get a pizza on the way home. I had four rum and diet cokes, and no pizza after. The taste of the rum made the fake sugar in the coke taste nicer, so it wasn't as bad as previously imagined, and I mixed the drinks i was having with a couple of pints of water throughout the night, admittedly this was more a money saving technique than anything diet related.
I figured that four rum and cokes, even if 'diet' can't be dieter's friend, so went walking in the hills of Derby. Fresh air too, great!
Breakfast - cardboard flakes with banana and skimmed milk
Lunch - 1/3 baguette with cottage cheese lettuce and choritzo slices, and asda puffed rice thai 'good for you!' thingys.
Dinner - yesterdays Pasta (I make it sound so bad, it was great!) with low fat greek yogurt on pineapple. (I make it sound great, it was bad! the Pinapple was old)
After the walk we went to Matlock Baths, a kind of seaside resort without any sea, just a river, it has all the arcade and ice-cream parlors you need for a good seaside town. Perhaps Matlock Bath was built just incase Brighton or Bournmouth get bombed by Al keida and his mates. The people still need penny arcades and Ice Cream! Or maybe is a weird quirk in environmental planning , just in case the lower half of england gets washed away, by rising sea levels; there will still be the mighty Matlock Baths - On - Sea.
Matlock Baths also has a great hairdresser called..wait for it..."I am Spartacuts!" genius, pure genius.
Matlock Baths is certainly dieters hell, pubs, fish and chip restaurants and ice cream parlors, oh yeah and the odd motorbike shop thrown in for some sort of Feng Shui balancing act. "No sir you need, three chippies for every bike shop, or otherwise positive energy will flow out of the town, and the confused customers will end up in Derby" "I can't let that happen, let there be chippies"
But I managed to avoid, the chippies, and just have a pint of diet coke in the pub. There must be more on offer in pubs which is low in bad stuff aside from water and diet coke? I can't imagine that the J20s are good for you. I got very excited when I realised that summer drinking diet style can include Gin and 'slim line tonic'. Drinks for winners!
I still feel a little odd doing this whole slimming thing, it does feel very setup for women, blokes I suppose just have heart attacks. But why the bias towards women, why the pressure on women to look slim or more importantly the lack of pressure on men to be healthy? Maybe its the choice of words, Slimming, Dieting, Getting fit, Exercising, 'going to the gym' all have slightly different connotations, but essentially meaning the same thing. Maybe there is a pressure on men to beef up rather than lose fat. something to do with gaining and losing? gambling? sorry for the psudo tenius links, just trying to work things out.
I guess part of me likes the feeling of going 'on a diet' as a young man, that slightly awkward conversations you have with people in which their first thoughts are that you are making them part of some elaborate joke. It almost feels (one assumes of course!) like some sort of cross dressing, using the language of middle aged women's magazine, lose a dress size! lose four pounds in four days! my brother killed my son with my cat!
So theoretically yes I am slimming, there's a nice outfit that i must simply have for the summer. In the pub the blog came up, and it was suggested that perhaps 'slimming' is the ultimate metro-sexual statement. But I guess that its a statement, rather than 'normal', if a middle aged woman who works in an office is slimming, its hardly a statement, more an occupational hazard. So there.
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