Real Men Don't eat Quiche

day 4

Breakfast - Cardboard flakes and cornflakes (mixin' it up because I am running out of the cardboard)
Lunch - Wrap with two eggs - is this bad?
Dinner - Lean german sausage and olive oil mash (tastes better than it sounds)

In the pub again today, I must really love it there, had a full fat coke, ordered incorrectly, i wanted a DIET COKE, but felt all shy because I asked someone else to get it. "hey do you want a drink?" "Yes, I will have half a diet coke", "hee, hee, hee" as my mate walked to the bar. There is something inherently funny about a young male ordering a half of diet coke. I mean my friends not a nasty person. Just even the thought of me having a HALF with Diet in it brought a titter/snigger. bastard (lower case because I don't really mean it).

I have a stag weekend coming up soon and I think the diet may have to, for the sake of my masculinity, take a break. "Beers all round lads? and TWO for the STAAAAAAAAG!" "(make mine a vodka and diet coke)" "WHAAAT!" and so on and so on you get idea. They're just incompatible, diets/stag weekends. But the question is, how does one take a break, do i starve myself before the weekend? Do i run up and down the stairs instead of taking the lift, using the unlikely childs game of "beeeetttcha!" as a reasoning to get all sweaty on a night out ? This will be a calorhoriffic holiday. Beer, beer, beer, pizza, beer, fry up, pizza, beer. Wama'gonnadoooo? Its likely to put me back a week or two on the old weight loss programmme. If i was perhaps going on the holiday with my mates it might be ok, i could get away with, you know, drinking less but, on a Stag do its all about over eating, farting and beer, beer, beer till your sick and maybe then a strip joint (god no!).

When lads are about, any sign of weakness becomes a huge joke, like vultures watching over a dying man in a desert, ready to swoop in and push him head first into the sand. I have faith in my friends not to be complete tossers, but its like going along and drinking water. I really don't know what to do. I have until easter weekend to come up with a sneaky plan. Yes, if i was a real adult, I would stick to my guns, let them have their laughs, their fun, and let them get over it, but I don't want to be the centre of attention, not on a stag doo anyway.

Yesterday I was explaining my programme to some friends, I was explaining that you know, I felt less bloated. "how long have you been doing it for" , "oh three days" "Pa hahah! I can see the weight falling off!" it's kind of funny, but then also its getting to be a bit annoying. I specified that 'I probably hadn't lost any weight yet'. why should it be so odd to try and lose a bit of weight? I have a few people, say oh yeah "I'll join you" in quite a throw away sort of way, in that they're downing pints whilst discussing the merits of a balanced diet. I mean, I like being the funny guy, but I really didn't set this one up as a joke. Maybe its funny because its so odd. Maybe it's funny because the way I approach it, or who I am. Maybe I shouldn't tell everyone, maybe I should be a closet dieter! But in effect telling people I know is away of putting pressure on myself to keep with the programme. I am looking forward to Saturday, to see if the programme has made any change to my weight at all, see if all the decisions and all the humiliation and all the diet coke have been worth it.