fat-tains blog supplementary.

Jeans. My jeans don't fit. They never did. shortish legs. massive thighs, normal
waist, means that all my jeans are saggy in the ass, and probably a size too big round the waist, just so they don't crunch, ahem, the inner thigh.

I wore some trousers with bulldog clips down the back and I looked way cool! Well sort of, It was really odd to see the shape, as a bloke you never see the real shape, with big shirts and ill fitting jeans. It looked all drain pipe like, just like the cool kids in the indy bars.

Saw a bloke in the pub the other day, and he was huge, like a big walking pyramid, and i thought poor bloke and then I thought, no that's rude to assume that, he is unhappy because he wears shirts large enough to be a tent. Then I thought oh no, I think that he is wearing a tent that's just as rude as thinking he should be unhappy coz' he's huge. Then I got distracted by a passing moth or something, maybe a shaft of iridescent light.

Was served by a bloke who must have been 7ft tall, he was absolutely huge, and the name on the cash till console in a you-are-served-by way said 'Stretch'. I mean, honestly, do you really need to point it out? And then, get this, another bartender came over who was as tall and even wider! I wasn't served by him so i never found out what his name was maybe something like, 'really big bloke' or maybe 'large', or 'My parents are giants and i am a giant toddler, lost on the way to the pay pit'. But something descriptive I imagine, my name would be 'slightly fattie' just in case there was a confusion at the bar and the chicken tikka with rice got mixed up with the bangers and mash with half a cider, and then A) they would know who to blame B) I could differentiate myself from huge and stretch, so that people would see me as an individual, not just someone who was smaller that the really big bartenders. But I will never work in that bar with huge and stretch, so I guess i don' t need to worry.

You're the One for me, fatty
You're the One I really, really love
And I will stay
Promise you'll say
If I'm in your way
You're the One for me, fatty
You're the One I really, really love
And I will stay
Promise you'll say
If I'm ever in your way
A-hey

All over Battersea
Some hope; and some despair
All over Battersea
Some hope; and some despair
Oh ...


You're the One for me, fatty
You're the One I really, really love
And I will stay
Promise you'll say
If I'm in your way
You're the One for me, fatty
You're the One I really, really love
And I will stay
Promise you'll say
If I'm ever in your way
A-hey


All over Battersea
Some hope; and some despair
All over Battersea
Some hope; and some despair
Oh, oh ...


You're the One for me, fatty
You're the One I really, really love
And I will stay
Promise you'll say
If I'm ever in your way
A-hey


You're the One for me, fatty
You're the One for me, a-hey-hey
A-hey
A-hey
A-hey
A-he-he-he-hey